Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
