And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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