She went from zero to smokin in five shots
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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