; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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