what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
