John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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