I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
