I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
