I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize