South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
