see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
