This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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