that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
