Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
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the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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