I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
