it was like eating out sand paper
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
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I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
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I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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