so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
