i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
