Screwed.edu
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
