Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize