It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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