i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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