Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My feet surprised me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
