We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I forget how to act sober
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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