My friends, they love my intelligence
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
