I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
third nipple confirmed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
