well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
