this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
