thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
