He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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