you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
