In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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