make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
