Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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