are you so shy because you have an std?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
