Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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