She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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