I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They took my balls.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
