I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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