yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
