the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize