well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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