There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
