How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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