hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I could make wine with my vomit
no you cant smoke seaweed
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
