i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
