Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
