I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
