Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
