No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
