Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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