I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
