I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
