Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just want nice things and good sex
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
