I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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