can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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