Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
